today
I need to get back into this because Ive been sad alot lately. I think its because I need the validation from another girl to like me which is why I liked strip clubs and making out with random girls. its weird because at the same time I try to mentally prep for rejecting someone and I have done that before but only because I got in trouble with that last drunk girl. Im scared Im going to lose all the connections from the strip club life but I shouldnt be because that was a previous part and I have to move on, I should learn to stop messing with people, that is how I lost all my friends. Just mind your own business. Thats how I lost deavan and dylon and the group and how I lost basically everyone at the club. I just wanted some validation from arianna last night and to impress my coworkers because Im still insecure about what other people think of me from when i was a kid. It still bothers me when someone says Im ugly. I kind of want everyone from the past to forget and not think it